;(

Test tomorrow and I can't concentrate. I can't get you out of my mind. I feel so useless sitting here staring at my book and not adsorbing anything. The paper is gonna be hard tomorrow and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel like giving up because everything will not work out for me, I know. I chose something that I actually don't have interest in and something which I can't see my future lie in. Many a time I just want to shout out loud and say, I don't care anymore. Why would I want to make my life so miserable like this. If you can hear me dear, I know the first thing you would do is to spank my butt and give me a nice long lecture. If only you can do that now, I wouldn't mind the spanking at all and would sit still and receive my lecture like a big gal, If only. Too many things occur at the same time and the load is too much till I just cannot take it. I really wish that you are awake so that I can tell you what I'm facing now and ask you for your advice. Because you always give the best advice. I know we didn't talk so often before this and regret it so so much. I wish I could just turn back time and spend all my time appreciating life around me. Because life is unpredictable and life is fragile. Grasp it before it's gone.

I'm so afraid, dear. So afraid that you can never talk to us again, laugh at silly jokes or how blur I am and gossip bout people. I want so much for us to go on trips together and want you to be one of my bridesmaids on my wedding day. We are so afraid to loose you and your smile and your laughter. Because without anyone of us, we are not a whole. Me miss you so terribly that our whole life go hay wire. We want you back and want everything to be like it used to be.

Dear God, I know you have made wonders, but please, we need her life back. We need her to be normal again. Please. ..

Miss you so much Sachina. We will not stop having faith in you. You are much stronger than us and much stronger than this. We love you.. too much to let you go. ♥